Beginners Guide to Vaginal Fisting

Does one finger feel good? All fingers might feel even better.

Also known as hand sex, handballing, vaginal punching, fist f*cking, and all- finger fingering, vaginal fisting is basically extreme fingering.

And for some people, it feels fantastic. Like, really, really, really fantastic.

What is vaginal fisting?

“Vaginal fisting is the act of vaginally penetrating someone with your entire hand,” explains Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy mecca Babeland.

But don’t be fooled: While it’s called fisting (and sometimes punching), the “fist” in question is actually more of a duck beak.

“Your hand doesn’t look like it’s punching something when it’s going inside the vagina,” she says. “All the fingers are straight and grouped as close together as possible.”

Yes, people really do fisting!

We never hear about fisting in movies. We definitely never learn about it in sex ed. And if you Google “fisting,” nearly everything that comes up is hardcore porn.

So you might be wondering: Do “real” people do it? You bet they do! And many of these folks enjoy it.

What’s the point?

Like most other sex acts, the point is pleasure. And that pleasure can be physical, emotional, and psychological.

“For many, the incredible sense of fullness is what feels amazing,” explains Searah Deysach, longtime sex educator and owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure- product company in Chicago that ships worldwide.

“For others, the intense pressure a fist can put on your G-spot — and sometimes A-spot — is the draw.”

She goes on: “This is an activity that requires patience, tenderness, and communication, so some people love how it makes them feel connected to and cared for by their partner.”

“For some, the experience feels spiritual.”

Fisting can be enjoyable for the fister, too.

“Some people are turned on by being in control, by making their partner feel good, and being able to provide someone with that sensation of fullness,” says Finn.

Can you orgasm from fisting?

Short answer: hell yeah!

Longer answer: It depends on what you need to orgasm, and whether fisting “accomplishes” that thing.

If you can get it from G-spot or A-spot stimulation or vaginal penetration, fisting may help you get there.

For the fistee

“At first, it feels just like fullness, like a sensual stretching,” explains Tanya C., 33, adding that fisting is her favorite way to get off while bottoming.

“But as my body opens up and my partner starts rocking their hand, it feels like a more intense version of G-spot stimulation.”

Natasha B., 43, regularly fists and is fisted by her long-term girlfriend.

“We both get off on the power of being the fister, and the submission of being the fistee,” says Natasha. “Personally, I think it’s more intimate than strap-on play, scissoring, or face-sitting.”

For the fister

“I’m a guy without a biological penis,” says Cooper T., 24, a trans guy who regularly fists his partners. “So for me, vaginally fisting lets me really feel myself inside of someone.”

He adds, “Being able to feel someone’s body stretch to accommodate my girth is hot and validating.”

Jack G., 42, who regularly fists his girlfriend of 3 years says, “Mostly, it’s just hot for me because it’s hot for her.”

“But how in sync we have to be in order for all of my fingers to get inside her is pretty damn intimate,” says Jack.

How to try fisting with a partner

Lube and communication are the two main pillars of successful fisting. Beyond that, here are some general tips to consider.

Give yourself a manicure

Hangnails, chipped nail polish, finger calluses, and jagged edges can all cause little abrasions and micro-tears in the vaginal skin that no one wants.

So make sure your hands are super-duper well manicured before going in!

If you have longer nails and don’t want to cut them, “Put cotton balls under your nails and then wear a latex or nitrile glove,” says Finn. “This will help buffer them.”

Lube, lube, lube!

“You’re going to need lots of lube,” says Jill McDevitt, PhD, resident sexologist at CalExotics. “Use three times as much of whatever you think is a lot. And continue to keep adding more.”

If you’re planning on using toys, opt for a thicker, water-based lube like Satin by Sliquid, which you can find online.

Otherwise, a silicone-based lube like Ãœberlube, also available online, is best.

Avoid anything with a numbing agent. Dumbing down sensations of pain can result in you pushing your body further than it can or wants to go, warns Finn.

Start slow

What do you and your boo usually do to get in the mood? Watch porn? Kiss? Bump and grind? Shower together? Do all of these things!

Then, when you’re both thoroughly aroused, start with one finger at a time. Then add a second. And so on.

“If you’re the fister, check in frequently with your lover to make sure they’re liking the action,” says Deysach.

You might say:

• “Are you ready for another finger?”
• “Is this still good for you?”
• “Can you take a little more?”

When you’re ready for the final finger, draw your fingers (thumb included) tightly together, then oh-so-slowly let your hand ease in.

“Once you’re inside, you can either keep your fingers in this duck-bill shape, or you can begin to curl your fingers down into a fist,” says McDevitt.

Use your knuckles in your favor

“Try rocking the hand back and forth, using your knuckles to stimulate your partner’s G-spot or A-spot,” suggests Finn.

She also recommends:

• twisting the “fist” to stimulate the vaginal opening
• slight thrusting or full- fist thrusting
• simply leaving the fist in while stimulating the clit

Add a sex toy

“Adding a clitoral vibe while being fisted is a great way to increase the pleasure because then you’re experiencing both internal and external pleasure,” says Finn.

Clit vibrators you might consider (and can shop for online):

• Le Wand Vibrating Cordless Wand Massager
• Dame Fin Finger Vibrator
• We-Vibe Melt Clitoral Sucking Vibrator

And if you really really love the sensation of fullness, you might also add a butt plug to ramp up the sensation of fullness even more, says Finn.

Maybe a vibrating butt plug like the b-Vibe Rimming Plug, which you can find online, or even a ball gag.

Pull out slowly…

Do not, for the love of your partner’s vagina, simply “pull out” your hand!

Exiting their vagina should be done with as much care as entering it was.

“The vagina is a muscle, so having the partner exhale as you slowly remove your hand can help relax the muscles enough that you can remove your hand without hurting them,” says Finn.

Aftercare

Not only can fisting be a particularly vulnerable experience — it is considered “taboo,” after all — so engaging in it can bring up some feelings.

Beyond that, Finn notes that just like your leg muscles may be sore after you work them, your vaginal muscles may be, too.

“The fister taking care of the fistee by holding them, bringing them water, applying lube for extra hydration afterwards, [or] however asked is a must,” she says.

Watch for signs of harm

So long as you follow the above steps, fisting shouldn’t cause harm or pain.

While some spotting is normal, Finn recommends checking in with a doctor if you’re spotting a few days afterward.

Next time, switch up your position

Missionary is a great position to start because you can see your partner’s facial expressions.

You can use that for intel about what feels good and what feels, well, less good.

But when you’re both comfortable, Finn says, “Doggy style is also really great, because it naturally opens the receiver’s body a little bit more.”

Can you enjoy fisting without a partner?

It’s possible. But admittedly: It’s trickier.

There are fist-shaped sex toys. For instance: the Doc Johnson Belladonna Magic Hand and the Doc Johnson Belladonna Bitch Fist, both of which you can shop for online.

But Finn doesn’t recommend them for fisting beginners: “The fingers aren’t as malleable as a human hand, which means you lose the ability to contort your hand into the perfect shape.”

Instead, she recommends fingering yourself with several of your own fingers to help your vagina adjust to the sensation of girthier penetration.

From there, you can eventually graduate to a toy like the Vixskin Randy, which you can find online. It’s similar in girth to a fist but shaped like a dildo.

She says this may make for an easier entry but a similar sensation of fullness.

Depending on your mobility, flexibility, and arm length, you might also be able to fist yourself using your own hand (and lots of lube).

Is vaginal fisting safe?

So long as you go slow, use lube, and continue only so long as it feels good: yes.

While some folks worry that fisting is going to stretch out their vagina, that fear is unfounded.

“When you were younger did your parents ever tell you not to make a certain face or it will get stuck like that?” says Finn. “The myth that your vaginal will stretch out is like that.”

“The vagina is an elastic muscle that will return to the size it was after the fisting session is over.”

How to practice safer vaginal fisting

When it comes to sexually transmitted infections (STIs), hand sex is considered a lower-risk sexual activity.

However, if there’s fluid transmission, an STI can be transmitted.

McDevitt calls out that the risk of transmission goes up if you don’t use enough lube or go slow enough.

This can cause micro-tears in the vaginal tissue, which she says can make the body more susceptible to contracting an STI from a partner who has one.

The best way to protect yourself is to know your own STI status and your partner’s. And if one or both of you has an STI — or you don’t have this convo — wear a glove.

The bottom line

“If you really enjoy the sensation of a very full vagina, wide toys, or people parts, you may want to give fisting a try,” says Deysach.

Ditto if your partner craves that fullness and you want to go on that sexual journey with them.

Remember: While fisting can feel amazing for some, if it starts to feel too intense or painful, you can always stop.

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