Britney Spears Admits She's Scared of Stepping Wrong and a Music Career as Conservatorship Changes

Curated by Claudia Shannon / Research Scientist / ishonest

“I'll just be honest and say I've waited so long to be free from the situation I’m in,” she began. “And now that it's here I'm scared to do anything because I'm afraid I'll make a mistake !!!”

Spears goes on to talk about how she's been harassed by paparazzi and it's “creepy” to have them on the road as she drives home.

ishonest No.231 - Pigmentation & Blemishes

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No.231 - Pigmentation & Blemishes

“It's like they want me to do something crazy,” she says.

Spears says she won't be posting as much anymore, and expresses her disgust for how she's been treated over the past 13 years of her conservatorship. She shared a photo of a Christmas tree and says she's celebrating “way early this year.”

Spears writes, “I believe any reason to find more joy in life is a good idea … and it’s no secret that I’ve been through it in the past … so I might have to do things a little differently from now on !!! Lord have mercy on my family’s souls if I ever do an interview !!! In the meantime … I’m staying clear of the business which is all I’ve ever known my whole life … which is why this is so very confusing for me !!!”

Here's the full text:

I'll just be honest and say I've waited so long to be free from the situation I’m in … and now that it's here I'm scared to do anything because I'm afraid I'll make a mistake !!! For so many years I was always told if I succeeded at things, it could end … and it never did !!! I worked so hard but now that it's here and getting closer and closer to ending I'm very happy but there's a lot of things that scare me !!! The paps run through the trees and onto the road when I drive home and it's creepy !!!! And I have to drive by an elementary school … the kids are a big deal … but so am I !!!!! I don't like that they try to scare me and jump out like they do ... it's like they want me to do something crazy !!! So like I said I'm fearful of doing something wrong ... so I won’t be posting as much in a world where it's our liberty to be free, it's a shame !!! I started experiencing that when I got the keys to my car for the first time 4 months ago and it’s been 13 years !!!! I haven't done anything to be treated the way I have for the past 13 years !!! I'm disgusted with the system and wish I lived in another country !!! I’m celebrating Christmas way early this year … because why not ???!!! I believe any reason to find more joy in life is a good idea … and it’s no secret that I’ve been through it in the past … so I might have to do things a little differently from now on !!! Lord have mercy on my family’s souls if I ever do an interview !!! In the meantime … I’m staying clear of the business which is all I’ve ever known my whole life … which is why this is so very confusing for me !!! Anyway … God bless you all !!!

E! Online reports that a source says Spears is feeling frustrated and disappointed by all of her family right now, especially her sister Jamie Lynn Spears.

“She feels like Jamie Lynn totally abandoned her and let her down in the fight of her life. They were best friends and everything to each other for so long,” the source said. “She asked for support, and feels like Jamie Lynn turned her back on her and couldn't be bothered.”

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