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10 Fears that Keep Women from Having Amazing Sex

Curated by Claudia Shannon / Research Scientist / ishonest

To learn more about where the top fears women face in the bedroomand how to tackle themwe sought advice from Emily Morse, a sex and relationship expert and host of podcast Sex with Emily.

Your partner wont want to wear a condom

Yes, sex without a wrapper feels differentand, some would argue, better. Still, protecting yourself against STIs and unwanted pregnancy is more important than ensuring your partner an extra few degrees of pleasure. If he insists on going bare, Morse advises snapping back with: Is no sex more enjoyable? That way you leave him with absolutely no option, she says. If he wants try to pull the but youre on the pill card, just remind him the pill doesnt protect against STIs. And dont be afraid to carry your own supply of sheaths to combat the oh- so common I dont have a condom excuse, advises Morse.

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Plus, even though many people assume condoms are major pleasure-busters, there are a ton of great options available, she says. Definitely play around and find out what you likeI always recommend Skyn condoms, because Im obsessed with them, but Lifestyles are also great!

When it comes down to it, you shouldnt have to spend too much time persuading someone to put on a rubber: If your partner is offended in any way, or tries to make you feel bad for wanting to wear a condom, I say put your clothes back on! says Morse.

Your partner has an STI

So I know this isnt the sexiest thing in the world, but try to talk about it beforehand to quell your fear, says Morse. Granted, not everyone is going to be honest about STIs or even know they have onewhether thats because they havent been tested or theyre a carrier with no sign of symptoms. Which is why its crucial to use a condom, just to be safe and give you peace of mind, advises Morse. Why risk one night to carry around an STD for the rest of your life?

Your partner will not take no for an answer

Before putting yourself in a sexual situation, Morse advises you ask yourself: Do I trust this person? Does he or she make me feel safe? While many women tend to focus their attention on pleasing their partner, she advises flipping the situation on its head and recognizing that if your partner isnt willing to respect your wishes, then he or she is certainly not someone you want to be with. And, according to Morse, the answer to this fear is simple: If your partner will not take no for an answer, then youve got to put your clothes back on and leave, because you should never give in to something you dont want to do.

Your partner will do something youre not comfortable with
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Plus, its important to verbalize your feelings. Men arent mind readers, so its really okay to stop and sit up and say things like This is making me feel uncomfortable and Im not ready for it now, or Tonight this just isnt working for me, or, Maybe we can try this instead of that for alternatives,' Morse suggests.

Your partner wont have an orgasm or be satisfied

Orgasm shouldnt be the goaland if you or your partner doesnt climax, that doesnt automatically deem your time between the sheets a failure, explains Morse. There are a lot of satisfying things that can happen during sex even if you dont have an orgasm.

If you want to boost your partner's chance of getting off while you two are getting it on, communication is key, Morse says. She recommends asking questions like What would turn you on right now? or Should I go faster or slower? or Should I use my hand or my mouth? Be sure to give your partner options, advises Morse, rather than simply asking: Do you like this?

You are bad at sex

Morse wants to get one thing straight: No one is bad at sex. Maybe youre a little less experienced, or havent been super active in a while. As long as youre willing to communicate with your partner, says Morse, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Read more on: sex, daily


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